How many tears make a dancer?

20 Pounds of Dead Pointe Shoes

 Tonight I sorted my way through 20 POUNDS of dead pointe shoes! I probably had about $3000 worth of old pointe shoes in my room. Thank you to all of my friends who have been "donating" their old shoes to me. I am making them into Christmas wreathes to sell at a craft fair this winter to help raise funds for my tuition (yet another thing).  So today I did the first step of grouping the same size shoes together, picking off all of the old ribbons and elastics and making sure they looked okay. What a lot of work!

Sunday Rehearsal

    Today we had a typical Sunday rehearsal day. Optional warm-up, Act 1 for an hour, and Snowflakes for two hours. I had been really tired from Saturday so I slept in which was actually very good for me because I had way more energy for rehearsal today. In fact after rehearsal I practised on my own for quite a bit and then went to the gym.

Lucia Lacarra & Cyrille Pierre photo by Chris Hardy (she has the nicest legs ever)

     I was practising the Grand Pas variation ( just marking it to music with my friend) when our director came in and asked me to dance it there on the spot. I was definitely not ready for that at all!!!!!! My shoes were way too soft (I only wore them for Snow because Snow has a lot of jumping in it and I didn't want to be wearing my super hard shoes), it was different music than usual, and I haven't actually done the entire variation from start to finish for ages... so i did a terrible, terrible rendition of it, which was really embarrassing. I felt terrible! But our director coached me for a little bit which was really, really kind of him and I learnt some new things to work on. I wish I could have done a better job. Hmmm.

    After today I really, really feel like I need to focus on my arabesque a lot. It needs to get way better. So this week that is going to be one of my main goals. Arabesque, arabesque, arabesque. I need to work on so many things sometimes and arabesque is one of the things I hate working on the most. My back by nature just isn't super strong so I hate doing my back exercises every night and although I do them religiously they don't get much easier!

Lucia Lacarra again, you can watch a video of her in the Lady of the Camellias here
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGGnmCObCYQ
It is so beautiful, and the music is lovely too!

    

Want/Need

Today we had ballet classes with Chan, I always feel like I learn something new in that class. I will admit I was a bit distracted today, I was thinking about the enormous invoice I received the other day. I don't have the money to pay it all right away and am super worried. More on that later.

   We also had contemporary which I liked even though I am not good at contemporary. I like the fact that a lot of contemporary is not superficial, whereas corps work in a big ballet rarely addresses what is deep inside. Ballet is beautiful, it doesn't show weakness or pain which is what I love about it. It is that ecstasy of perfection that we strive for daily.

    I took the day off from the gym today to give my body a little bit of a break.  I'm sure I'll regret it tomorrow! I also talked to our Artistic Director for a while and he complimented me on how much I have improved since arriving here so long ago. I always wish I would have said so many different things every time I talk to him. I want to say so much more than I actually ever do. His words always make me so much more determined to work  harder, reach further and achieve more.

  

Patricia Barker in The Firebird

Right now I have all this energy because I have so much desire to get to my goal. Every set back is something that makes me want to fight harder and harder. I can feel it in my heart.  I've spent my last four years training here and I have dedicated everything to it. Sweat, blood and tears (and more tears and more tears). I'm not going to give everything away because I just can't pay a bill. This is art, this is life,  I want it so, so, so much. Last year I might have just become more and more depressed worrying about my finances but this year it just makes me angrier, more fiery and determined...

Monday

   Another Monday, today was not a really good day at dance for me. I was really tired and was having a hard time concentrating. Yesterday night I was doing company research for ages. At midnight I decided to do a lot of sit ups e.t.c. which made me extremely tired this morning (not a good idea)!
   After class I went to the gym surprise surprise, I have been going a lot lately and I have been feeling great.
   As far as company research went I have found about 32 companies so far that I would like to send my resume, photos and DVD to. Most of the companies are in Canada or Germany, I haven't quite got around to the States or other countries in Europe yet.  Tomorrow I am going to have a meeting with a couple of my friend to discuss what companies we have researched and are planning to send things to. Hopefully if we are organized enough we could travel together and cut back on some costs.

Evgenia Obraztsova
One of my new favourite dancers, I love how light on her feet she is. She isn't doesn't show off like other dancers but remains elegant, modest and charming.

Evgenia doing the Flower Festival Variation

  

Quite Tired but Content

    Today was a long day for me!

Firstly I woke up and went to the gym at 6:00 in the morning with my mum. That was fun... actually I was very surprised at how many people were there that early in the morning.

Then I had ballet class for an hour and a half.

After which we had pointe class/ variations for two hours. We did Kitri's Act 3 variation which I quite like but I was not feeling very confident in today. The level of the class this year is quite a bit higher than last year so I don't feel as confident however that makes me have way more drive to succeed. I see my friends doing something well which makes me want to practise it more too. My fouettes have taken a turn for the worse which I was frustrated with but fortunately my teacher was very reassuring and said that they will come back really soon. On a positive note my actual pirrouettes en pointe are getting better. I feel a lot more centred doing them.
p.s If you want to see what fouettes look like click on this link, this is my friend Hiroko just fooling around after class, she is an amazing turner!!!

After that we had character/ mime class with our Russian teacher for two hours. We were in a tiny studio so we couldn't really do much. We learnt an old variation from a Russian ballet that I do not know the name of as well as an acting piece from another Russian thing that we do not know the name of. We don't really know the story line behind the acting/ character dancing/ very confusing piece. It was fun although none of us could do it right because it involved so much co-ordination.

After that I went to the coffee shop with my friends to catch up on the news from the past few days.

So much for now, I have to keep doing my company research <3

Getting Back into the Swing of Things

   Classes have been going well so far. We had Chan's class on Thursday which I really enjoyed. I am been extremely sore since then. My inner thighs and my arms are especially sore. This year we don't have Sundays off any more which is a little disappointing because it is really important to have a rest day.  I am worried about injuries e.t.c. 

    Today I went early to help with all of the costume fittings for the Nutcracker then I tried on costumes and more costumes, had rehearsal, figured out placement things, tried on more costumes. It wasn't tiring, it was boring but necessary. By the end of the day I was pretty grumpy, I don't really like trying on costumes because I always get nervous that they won't fit well. The good news is that my snow costume from last year is now on the tightest hook setting which means that I have lost weight. =)

  
  Yesterday night I went to go see a Barata Natyam Arangetram. My sister's team-mate from soccer also does a lot of Indian dancing and this was her graduation performance. I was really excited to be invited to it and excited to see something very different from what I am used to. I really enjoyed it, I know nothing about Barata Natyam but found it very interesting. Some of the movements were quite similar to things I have done in character dancing/ flamenco. The performance was all barefoot and I was amazed at how loud she could slap the floor with her feet when she wanted to. At first I thought there was something under her feet! It was also very musical, she had bells around her ankles so all of the movements had to be in time with the music. I was impressed by how when she moved her head from side to side she was so in time with the music that almost looked like her earrings had bells in them and that they were making the ringing sound. 
   It was a really lovely performance and her family was so proud of her. It was amazing to see the 500 seat theatre almost full. There were so many people and so much work had gone into the performance. She is really lucky her family was so generous, they had a big dinner with food after the performance for everyone, and just before intermission her a lot of her cousins went on stage to say something about her. It was really, really, really heart-warming. 
   Indian dance I think is something that is done a lot for oneself. At least I really got the feeling that my sister's team-mate enjoyed what she was doing both on the outside and on the inside. Ballet is very aesthetic every movement is about the position, the placement and the look. Whereas this style of dance was really about the quality of movement, the movements them self, the story and the music. I think that keeping that in mind for when I dance will help me become a better performer as I found it fascinating to watch, and would like to engage an audience as well as she did last night.


Alright I have a lot to do before I go to sleep tonight <3

First Official Day Back

   Today was our first official day back at dance.
We had ballet class with one of my favourite teachers who has been sick for a while. I thought that it was going to have an ok time... I hadn't taken a class for about 9 days which is  very long time but I thought that seen as I have been very active during my vacation I would be in pretty good shape. I have been running almost every day, swimming, water skiing, I thought I would be all right!

Royal Ballet School Student  (look at that foot!!!!)

    That was definitely not the case! I was so much weaker than I expected to be. My demi pointe didn't feel very strong and my turnout was awful. It was such a surprise I had to think about my turnout so, so much and it felt at least 10 degrees less than usual. It was terrible. So that really frustrated me the entire class. I felt like the back of my legs and my inner thighs were not co-operating!  It was also really interesting that a lot of my co-ordination deteriorated. Fortunately I don't think it will take long to come back. Doing petit allegro my legs were doing strange things!

Nicole Ciapponi at the Genees 2 years ago, she received silver that year, this year I have two other friends who are going,  I hope they do well!!! (picture is from Dance International Magazine )

   By the end of pointe class I started to feel a little bit better, a little more turned out and co-ordinated so that was good. Pointe class was almost 2 hours long though which was a little tough on the first day. That was it though, we ended at 1:00 which was super early. I stayed by the lockers and hung out with some of my friends for a while catching up with them. After that I went and got some sore throat medicine and went to the gym where I worked out for an hour and a half.
   By the time I finally got back home it was already 6:00,  I was very surprised! I just had soup and salad for dinner and am about to do a lot of stretching tonight!

First Day of School

   Today we had our first day back but we didn't actually have class just a meeting. It was nice to see my friends again, and meet the new people.

  Standing on the train today with all of the people going back to school there was a strong sense of energy. You could feel the fresh start, the ambitions, the new plans. The shiny shoes, clean clothes, outfits picked out specially for the day. It was a comforting feeling, like everything is going to be ok. Optimistic in fact.
     I was thinking about schooling, it seems like people never stop going to school. Like so much time is spent studying and studying, to do what? What I love about what I do is that I get to do my work while I'm studying it. I get to perform in front of thousands, it has a real life application. I guess that is what frustrated me the most about school. While I was stuck indoors studying math, and science. Other people were actually working and doing something with their lives. I was itching to get out there and go. I can't wait until the day that I am actually in a company.  It will be amazing!

 I definitely feel like things are spinning out of control. I really need a meeting with out director to figure out how this year is going to work out. I have been doing research on Canadian ballet/dance companies and my list consists of about 10 different places. It is a start, and today I am going to do my research on German/ European companies. Travel is going to be interesting + I really need to start getting a couple of variations together and coached so that I can get my audition video sorted. I am worried about how I am going to organize that especially seen as I don't have enough money to pay for my tuition.

Our director with us in class. A reporter was watching our class which was very nerve wracking especially seen as he didn't know all the much about ballet. His article can be read here Ballet class

 I paid for my uniform in one and two dollar coins today. 7 pairs of earrings or 48 cookies. Dollar after dollar. The uniforms are ok although I know that the actual price cannot have been very much because the leotards like it that are sold in china cost only $7. It cost us $48 per leotard. They are eggplant purple with mesh sleeves. The only problem is that the sizes are extremely small. The two tiniest girls are a medium which means the small doesn't fit anybody and the medium tall fits the smallish people. Tall people are going to have to wait!... Or we will all just have to starve to death, which might be an option too...

Youtube!!!

Since I haven't been having class this week I definately have gone a little crazy watching youtube videos.
Here are a couple I would like to share.

Alison Kitri Act 1
This is my friend Alison at YAGP a couple of years ago <3

Marika Sato Act 3 Variation

This is another friend doing Kitri's Act 3 Variation. I have yet to see another person do three attitude turns in the echappee part. She is now dancing in Japan but was dancing with "Ballet Ireland" for a while

And these are some amazing videos from professional dancers:

Alina Cojocaru & Johan Kobborg
From the Royal Ballet, she is one of my favourite dancers, they are husband and wife in real life too!

Natalia Osipova and Ivan Vasiliev Flames of Paris
Another one of my favourite dancers, I have never seen anyone who can jump like she can!!!